How to rock skinny jeans?

Skinny jeans are great for that casual weekend look on your days off work or as an everyday affair for those of us in campus. But sit down and over tuskers with most men in Kenya and ask them about skinny jeans and you will most likely get the same reply over and over again, skinny jeans are gay and straight men should NOT be wearing them. Are they right? Well yes, kind of… skinny jeans are very gay…but ONLY when they are super tight and they are worn wrongly. So how should you wear skinny jeans and still look like the alpha male you are?  Simple:

Have the right body type

Contrary to what most people who wear skinny jeans believe, the skinny jeans look is not for everybody. You don’t have to be super thin to be able to rock skinny’s, but you most definitely have to have a well proportioned body. This my gentle, non offensive way of saying you should never even dream of trying skinny’s on if are built like a pregnant lady. I’m not saying large dudes cannot rock skinny’s, cause believe you me, they can. I’m saying any dude, with a massive beer belly (aka pot) will not look good in skinny’s. As long as you have a well proportioned body with mostly reasonably straight lines, you most definitely can rock the skinny jeans look, and rock it you should.

Make sure they fit properly.

This is a very important part of wearing skinny jeans. I personally do not feel the skin tight skinny jeans I’ve seen some dudes rocking, it looks kind of gay to me ( but that’s my opinion, I might be wrong.. .and if I am please let me know). And the secret to making sure you don’t get yourself that ’skin tight’ look is  where fitting your jeans properly comes in. Skinny jeans on a man should not look like tights on a chick. Your proper size of skinny’s should be a little bit saggy or baggy when you put them put on and should be long enough to have a small pilling up effect on your shoes. This cool effect can be achieved easily by picking one or two sizes larger than your usual size. This way your jeans will be fitting, but they won’t be tight like sausage casings. This will also leave enough room for your legs and balls to move around freely and most importantly, you’ll be able to bend and sit without making a fool of yourself in ways I can’t discuss here.

Accessorize properly.

Accessorizing your skinny jeans is the final most important key to whether your look will be a success...or an epic fail. Slim flat shoes or converse sneakers will go best with skinny’s. Slim high cut sneakers, like the adidas top ten's shown here (actually any high cuts apart from supras), can also match well with skinny’s, although if you are over 20 years old I would advise you stick to slim, low cut, flat sneakers or converse for a more mature look. If you choose to wear high cuts, you should pick shoes made from non shiny, non plastic materials. Don’t choose shoes that are too big or clunky or you will walk around looking like you have Mickey mouse’s feet.  Big shoes and small skinny’s DO NOT go well together. As for your shirts, slim or well fitted t-shirts coupled with half coats or neat blazers will do. Checked or plain dark button down shirts can also work, especially if your going for a mature look. Be sure not to wear shirts and t-shirts that are too big compared to your jeans, you’ll end up looking like your favorite top heavy superhero cartoon character or worse.

So as you can see, as long as you fit your jeans well and avoid the skin tight jeans look, and you accessorize accordingly, there is no reason you can’t rock the skinny jeans look and still remain the macho, beer drinking, chest thumping man you already are.

TIPS AND WARNINGS

-Always buy your skinny jeans one or two sizes larger if you don’t want that gay looking, skin tight effect. This also helps since jeans shrink a bit after washing too.

-Please and this especially applies to you if you are over 20: Please stop wearing your pants below your butt!! Sagging is a phase we all have to go through, I understand (I used to sag as well), but if you are over 20 and you still wear your pants below your butt thinking you look cool like lil wayne or Chris brown let me break it to you since your boyz and your girlfriends wont, high school is over and now you just look very silly and very immature. I know you were probably lied to that chicks find it sexy, but the harsh reality is that they don’t… and those chicks who do still find over sagging sexy are still back in high school (either physically or in their heads), leave them alone. Moreover, you sagging with a belt is an oxymoron… pull those pants up. You’re an adult for God’s sake!!!!!

-And lastly, when wearing skinny’s, be sure to wear only male skinny’s. Yes, some money hungry business man can con you and sell you female skinny’s. Nobody wants to see you in your girlfriend’s jeans.

COMING SOON:

10 easy steps to improve your appearance and boost your sex appeal…

And many more, keep it locked.